So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
