alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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