Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she peed on how many people?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
