Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
