just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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