Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
