Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
