Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
