When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
