Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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