he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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