South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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