What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
