I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
