1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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