I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
