she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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