Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
