i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
