on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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