Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
