She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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