Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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