Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she looked like the before picture.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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