didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
