I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
