doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
