I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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