dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I met the friendliest cop last night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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