I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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