Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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