Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize