we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
