So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
this will be a night to untag.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
