The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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