i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
