jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
