Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you traded sex for a burrito?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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