remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i will never coherently bang her
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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