Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
