she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
