this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
