meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
