Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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