Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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