This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
