Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
