There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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