Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
PANTIES FOUND
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize