My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
