i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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