It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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