we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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