Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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