There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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