just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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