How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
